danefonda
me as a mom
i feel like it needs to be said that this is a quote from carly rae jepsen
the biggest lie the weight loss industry ever sold us was the idea that the lower body fat % you have, the stronger and fitter you are. think about how stupid that is for a second. imagine explaining this concept to a caveman. he‘d just eat you for protein
Gug think easy kill thin hide with spear
not so fast, Gug. i just drank 10 green juice cleanse flights. after the bloody diarrhea passes, my weight will have dropped 50% and i’ll have ingested enough fruit sugars to kill a horse - and kill a horse i will.
Gug respect and fear shaman. Gug fear what gug not understand.
that’s right, bitch
Your dad is gerrymandering that pizza
replace the word "gay" with "cute" in dudebro speak and it becomes fucking incredible. i'm gonna be real that was kinda cute of you dude
CAT showcasing equipment during an indoor demo for potential buyers
cat shelter for dads
god i love watching these train wrecks from a distance
The update gets worse
How do they insist on having the most flattering possible light for passport photos. Like public bathroom mirrors I'm a solid 4/10, home mirror it's "ugly, but ehh you can go outside", random reflective surfaces in public places are like "shouldn't have left the house you fucking ghoul" and I don't take selfies at all because I'll just look like a racist caricature of an ethnicity I don't even belong in.
But for some inexplicable, unfathomable reason a passport photo is "good luck getting through security with this pretty boy shit. You don't even look like that."
Sir, I regret to inform you most people have thee complete opposite of your problem.
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